2/13/09

ny times reports: "natural contaminants” in our food = bugs, mold, rodent hairs and maggots...

along w/ "insect filth,” “rodent filth” (both hair and excreta pellets), “mammalian excreta,” “rot,” “insect larvae and insect eggs...”

order a tomato juice cocktail and u get an additional: “10 or more fly eggs per 100 grams [the equivalent of a small juice glass] or five or more fly eggs and one or more maggots.” cheers! spread some tomato paste w a half a cup of pizza sauce onto toasted italian bread. sounds good so far. sure! why not! it provides 4 an even denser infestation — 30 or more fly eggs per 100 grams or 15 or more fly eggs and one or more maggots per 100 grams. but dont stop there, open up some canned mushrooms and throw 'em on the sandwich w/ “over 20 or more maggots of any size per 100 grams of drained mushrooms and proportionate liquid” or “five or more maggots two millimeters or longer per 100 grams of drained mushrooms and proportionate liquid” or an “average of 75 mites” before provoking action by the F.D.A..wow, now u got one super high protein hero! mama mia!

rest a little. okay time to eat again. here's a little sauerkraut on your hot dog, and if ur really lucky u'll get up to 50 thrips. and when ur washing down those tiny, slender, dirty, winged bugs with a sip of ur beer, you might consider that just 10 grams of hops could have as many as 2,500 plant lice. i know that's the taste u've always loved! skål, la chaim, nostrovia, salud!

here's a new meaning to spicing up ur food, curry powder is allowed 100 or more bug bits per 25 grams; ground thyme up to 925 insect fragments per 10 grams; ground pepper up to 475 insect parts per 50 grams. one small shake of cinnamon might give u more than 20 rodent hairs before being considered defective. shake it up baby!

peanut butter — that culinary cause célèbre — may contain approximately 145 bug parts for an 18-ounce jar; or five or more rodent hairs for that same jar; or more than 125 milligrams of grit.

i know u wanna know, so here u go: you’re probably ingesting one to two pounds of flies, maggots, mites, insect filth and rodent hair each year without even realizing it!

gimme a couple rat hairs-peanut butter sandwiches to go please! yo buddy, dont forget to throw in the bug parts and rodent filth too!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/13/opinion/13levy.html

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Would you please edit out disgusting comments like this. I'm looking for a nice restaurant, not a political harangue.