3/31/09

To Europe!


I'm leaving for 3 months, I'll be back in July to serve you tapas.
If you want to see what I'm up to, check out my travel blog:
saltyexerts.blogspot.com

maggie


3/29/09

fresh, creative...bean-based dishes

Brooklyn, NY
3/28/2009
There are two distinct types of vegans in this world. Those who like fake meat, the vegan-versions of "regular" food -- we'll call them "red bamboo-ers", and then there are people who prefer fresh, creative vegetable and bean-based dishes. These people should be called Sacred Chow-ers. I still dream about the beet hummus I had at Sacred Chow over a year ago. Sacred Chow has a hard-to-find un-pretentiousness that is missing in the other vegan restaurants in New York City. Definitely a great place to go for a weeknight date.
Amy G.

3/28/09

open mic...on you tube

check out all of the open mic performers on you tube @ sacred chow on 3/25/09.
:47

Aaron Roller
3 views
2:46
Farrah Fidler
15 views
the open mic featured Danny Raphael @ Sacred Chow, NYC, and was hosted by Matthue Roth.

Open mic...was fun!

Open mic at Sacred Chow was fun!

open mic...was insanely, smashably a hit

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Candy gets covered
The open mic last night was insanely, smashably a hit. was packed, both with performers and audience -- and we even had an open mic virgin come up at the end and ask if he could perform a song, which is how you know you're being inspiring. Danny Raphael, who's usually an M.C. of the highest order, was like "there's no mic? I don't mind" and blasted into an a capella set, over the course of which I didn't even miss the music. And then these wacky un-yeshiva boys came with their guitars and made a little soundtrack of their own. Yeah -- it was a good night at Sacred Chow. And I could actually eat the food, since it was kosher (and vegan!), which is always a nice change.And I got an amazing note from Adam Luckwaldt, significant beau of last month's feature, who's wringing his own inner muse by the neck and making a comic a day. He'd read Candy in Action, listened to the soundtrack, and covered one of the songs (the one by Postal, Odin Smith, and me -- literally turned it into a comic. Yay art. Yay collaboration. And yay -- continually -- Maurice Sendak.


Posted by matthue at 8:59 AM

3/27/09

behind the piano

this has been a fun week @ sacred chow - for so many reasons.

sacred chow had this great open mic w matthue roth. see, open mic, greenwich village style, nyc! oh was it just perfect! i loved seeing a sea of "chosen-folk", gathering, being, listening 2 tales of nostalgia, eating food, drinking impressive kosher-sustainable wine & beer along w/ peaceful tributaries.
also, this is really exciting, sacred chow has been asked 2 make a shelf stable, highly nutritional, cost-efficient, eco-vegan, ethically kosher, halal food that can feed the world in just 5 minutes w less than a cup of boiling water.
so dino and i said bring on the boiling water!
yesterday, we completed taste testing, mainstream coded y'all, coconut chick'n curry and "veal" stroganoff. now folks, these varmints were really, i mean really gourmet delicious! and we were blown away, and the chant: feed the world! feed the world! stampeded through our brains. monday we're onto american hamburgers and italian meatballs w/ spaghetti sauce. and hey, get this, gluten-free so far.
and an image, from a memory opened up: downstairs, far-away behind the piano, way, way far-away, downstairs in our basement was my chemistry lab, a magical space. i played w/ many friends in this place, their names i dont recall. i said 2 dino, it feels like we're behind that piano studiously measuring ingredients, sprinkling tiny barbie grams of magic into food. and someone wrote: the word magic is found in repetition. indeed it is!



3/26/09

yes we deliver 4 lunch.

On Mar 23, 2009, at 8:21 PM, Kyle Gebhart wrote kyle@doghouserecords.com: Any chance Sacred Chow delivers to 8th Ave at 36th St. for lunch?
On Mar 24, 2009, at 4:25 PM, Kyle Gebhart wrote: Because I think Sacred Chow is awesome....I asked if they would deliver Vegetarian food for Thursday. Here's what they said.
From: *sacred chow <sacredchow@aol.com>> *Date: *March 24, 2009 3:54:35 PM EDT yes we deliver 4 lunch. 4 15 folks w tax & delivery, 1/2 heroes, soup, stew, salads and tapas, it'll be near $100.00. btw, we have great desserts & delicious beers!
On Mar 25, 2009, at 4:36pm, Kyle Gebhart wrote: We're approved for this. Will you accept AMEX for payment?
*Date: *March 25, 2009 2:30 PM EDT:sacred chow wrote: <sacredchow@aol.com>> u bet! and if u should have any further questions, shoot away @ anytime.

craving your latkes

thank you again (and again, and again) for hosting the open mic lastnight @ sacred chow. it was an amazing time, and there was so much good material,and it was just a really staggering reception for all the poets and performers. i'm honored to have been a part of it. and now i'm halfway across town and craving your latkes and indonesian date butter. the morning after.
yay.
3/26/09
Matthue Roth
author. performance poet. torah badass

3/22/09

"hey there little kid!"

little kid, it's ur b-day on 3/25/09. wowzy, wow!
i remember listening 2 ur mommy's belly,
while the ob/gyn was pinky pointing @ ur "strong chin" on the monitor.
she told us, on this day, that u were a boy.
"YIPPY!": i remember feeling in my tummy.
she pointed 2 the screen, and said, "see here?"
i waved @ u w my right index finger,
while my left ear was on mommy's belly
and said, "hey there little kid!"
she said: "he has his daddy's chin, that's 4 sure.
and look, she said excitingly, he's dancing, he's really dancing!"
u sure were little kid!
we all were laughing.
every saturday, little kid, we have the greatest time on earth!
happy life little kid, happy life!

away.

is it safe where u r now?
4 all i know,
u can never look @ my face again.
i feel like junk.
my heart is dust.

3/20/09

it most certainly hit the spot

TASTE TEST: Sacred Chow's Brownie Sundae
My friend and I were meeting up for a post-work dessert and she requested that we find something warm and gooey. The Brownie Sundae at Sacred Chow in the west village looked like it could fit the bill. It consisted of a triple chocolate velvet brownie, topped with hot fudge, vanilla soy ice cream and rainbow sprinkles. Since we wanted something super gooey, we requested that the brownie be warm when served, which the waitress was more than happy to do. The plate came out and looked adorable. I felt a little like it was my tenth birthday... but who cares. I was a little surprised it was on a flat plate rather than in a serving dish, but I never feel like I can get the last bit of melted ice cream & fudge at the bottom of those dishes anyway. The brownie was most certainly chocolately. If eaten alone it definitely would have been too much, but combined with some vanilla ice cream, each bite was great. The only problem with the brownie was that it was wheat/gluten free and this made it kind of grainy. My friend even said it was more like a chocolate cornbread rather than a brownie. Though grainy, it wasn't heavy like other vegan brownies/cakes. It was a little pricey ($9), but it most certainly hit the spot. YUM.
3/14/2009
http://vegansweettooth.blogspot.com

My food was great

CHOW ON THIS
It seems that between the two of us K and I are slowly working our way through every vegan and vegetarian restaurant in the city. I think this is partly accidental, but our awesome Sacred Chow Night on Wednesday was most certainly planned (and discussed thoroughly and excitedly) in advance.I don't think K has quite reached a verdict on SC yet, but I would definitely give it more than a few mmms (if we were still "mmm"-ing things, of course). I don't exactly understand where the name originated, but no matter. What DOES matter is that the food is delicious, and the atmosphere isn't too shabby either.The place is wedged into a cute little block on Sullivan Street, also the home of the adorable V-Bar (a shoutout to my friend A, who worked and often still works there). It's accented with a brick-walled narrow interior, dim lighting, stray Christmas lights and Eastern decor. Totally typical, but still totally cute. When I was torn between the Tempeh Rueben and the Roasted Black Olive Seitan Hero, our waitress kindly provided an opinion for the seitan. I ultimately settled on the Roasted Black Olive Seitan at the waitress's recommendation, and I'm happy to report that she was right. Served on a delicious, warm, toasted baguette, my seitan was so heavenly I devoured it before any picture-taking could commence. Olive seitan with Dijon vinaigrette and mixed greens is one of my new favorite things in life, friends, although I wasn't that impressed with the side of slaw. I won't hold that against them though, since I'm pretty underwhelmed by coleslaw generally.The half-pitcher of sangria we ordered (for only $15!) was also up to snuff and served as a nice prelude to the Johnny's visit we would make later. I tried to entice K into ordering one the desserts, which I've heard are amazing, but somehow she managed to resist yet again. One day, K...I would say the experience was a good one. My food was great and our bill didn't cause me to have a stroke, so all was well. I would definitely become a repeat customer, if just to try the desserts! And maybe get a picture next time...
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Posted by eLs at 1:07 PM
1 comments:
nrg said...
great name! i mean really, what's more sacred than food? exactly my sweet potato friends
March 19, 2009 5:53 PM

And then you'd be in luck

Everyone Acclaims
Funky Restaurant Names

For fish you might pick out: The Crabby Oyster, Happy Clam, Contented Sole, Maine-ly Lobster, Something's Fishy, Wholly Mackerel, Sea Senor, Purple Porpoise, Cod Squad, Hook Line and Sinker, or The Angry Trout.
If hot dogs you demand: Try the Dog House, Franks a Lot, Al's Fun in the Bun, First National Frank, Puppy Love, Weiner Take All, Frank-n-Stein's, or Mustard's Last Stand,
When coffee makes you glow: Please visit Full of Beans, Sufficient Grounds, The Daily Grind, Cup-a-Cabana, Expresso Yourself, Gotta Hava Java, or Cuppa Joe.
And then you'd be in luck: By visiting the Drift Inn, It's About Thyme, Someplace Else, Chunky Monkey, Gobble 'n Go, Sacred Chow, Souper Bowl, Salt and Battery, Lettuce Eat, Just Desserts, The Satisfied Frog, Paco's Chop Suey, Foody Goody, For Heaven's Cakes, Off the Eaten Path, or the Sitting Duck.
But my favorite cafe has a name to revere: They had a cook named Dave who left suddenly and didn't come back, so they called the place Dave's Not Here.
Vol.10, No. 4, March/April 2009

w/ love, alex


It is with a heavy heart that I share the sad news of the passing of my great friend and companion, Bruno.
Bruno’s every cell exuded goodness, friendliness and love of life. After some 12 and a half years together, I’m so very grateful for all the joy and light and love he brought me.

Bruno loved:

Everyone!

Rolling in the grass

Chasing squirrels

Car rides

Howling

Biting waves at the beach

Sleeping in my bed

Greeting anyone who came through a door.

He will be greatly missed.


"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"-- Unknown


"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."--Andrew A. Rooney

3/19/09

un dia, josef, un dia!


3/17/09

Sacred Chow I love You!

It's hard to believe I've been working here for over a year now! Sacred Chow is like a second home for me (seriously sometimes it feels like I'm hangin' out in a second living room). Of course there are better days than others, but for the most part, I love my job and I love my boss!...but what I really want to do here is thank everyone who supports us! Despite the current economic situation, Sacred Chow is staying happily afloat, and I really have to say, it's because of our loyal regulars. Without you we couldn't be here, so thank you!

from huXley

my birthday song from hux:
to DaD!
"we shold have more individual time."
"My Best personal friend."
"You are vary cool and cute."
"Oh how i really like you."
"And i really love you."
"Oh ho!
You are my best personal friend"
from huXley

greasy's gas station

Happy happy birthday to you and the Huckster! A tad late for you (please forgive me) and a little early for Huck... I hope you both enjoy your special days, and I wish you both the magic of ongoing dreams. Thank you for sharing your witty dream with me. I wish we wouldn't disagree! Then again, if we agreed all the time, we would never need you and me, and that just can't be. I'm glad the dream ended so peacefully. How are you and Huck? How is Sacred Chow? I love you, miss you, and hope you are well, darala---- Original message ----
Date: Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:28:56 -0500From: sacred chow Subject: (no subject)To: Amy Dara Stoltz >dear darala,>>had a dream with you last night. it was a pretty one. u had rented a >car, and we were driving 2 the country 2 go 2 a friend's wedding. it was >very beautiful - lots and lots of tall, voluptuous, green pine trees, so many small perfect, pristine lakes and streams, echoing w bug life and fish, shimmering... it was early morning, and still dark. we stopped at a little >diner, over-looking one of the many lakes, to eat and meet up w/ some friends. there were a few cars in the parking lot, crickets galore, glorious stars and a bright moon. i then realized i had forgotten my suit! and we both instantly knew that i couldnt go. i >was so bummed. so u relaxingly said, this >sort of thing happens, don't worry. i love u. take the car and >go back to nyc, and i'll go w my friends. where upon u left. the birds were waking, the mist was puffing out from the lakes and trees. it was really exquiste! and i didnt want to feel upset. so i told a local fireman, who was eating an early breakfast, about my little tale. he was dressed in full uniform, and he said: "hey buddy, listen 2 the last of the night's crickets, have some coffee outside, i love smoking a cigarette at this time, watch the mist rise, and @ 7 am a used clothing shop opens up in the back of greasy's gas station." I got quiet, had a couple cups of coffee, and a few drags of other country folks' cigs, and by 8am - i left greasy's w/ a >nice dapper suit! i drove 2 the wedding! it was a beautiful drive! and we were all very excited!>>i wanted to reach out and touch... >i love u, miss u and hope u r well, cliffela

3/16/09

fite fore watis rite.

huxley made 2 bookmarks 4 me that read:
you
are
a
good
man.
you
fite
fore
watis
rite.
and
you
blevin
g-d.
and
you
are
solid.
and,
you are
bade,
crase,
good,
g-d
life.
they r bookmarking, the castle by franz kafka, and, the heart of the matter by graham greene.
hux is in 1st grade.
i love my bookmarks,
and i love my good little man!

3/13/09

blueberry blintzes

i wish i had eaten the blueberry blintzes w u that day gramps.
it was just a few weeks after grandma lilly died.
I asked u: "how r u feeling 2day? u said:"i am feeling so terribly lonely. no one in the family is speaking 2 me now."
i told u: "no, they dont blame u, but they need their distance for awhile."
(but they did blame him, they would never forgive him and never wanted 2 talk 2 him again. and it was understandable. but i loved him.)
we were walking around a little orthodox jewish shopping area, near where u lived in the bronx.
i said: "yes, i knew that she was very unhappy,
and that u 2 fought a lot. I know how much u miss being w her.
i missed being w her 2. she was my best friend."
"yes gramps, i know u loved her. i know u did."
it's time 2 go, so we walked 2 my car.
i got into the car and opened the windows, and now i am getting ready to leave, and i see u grandpa, standing so alone, on boston post road. i said, "hey gramps, i love u." u leaned inside the car, crying, and pleading: "dont leave me boy, i will miss u, and have no one 2 talk 2 now." i am holding your hand, your tears r falling onto our grasp.
"but i have 2 get back 2 skool, please understand."
"i will miss u boy." "i will miss u 2 grandpa."
"please stay, just an extra half hour, we can go 2 the dairy restaurant 2gether,
and i can tell everyone how proud i am of u. we can eat the kreplach w sweet onions, a big piece of challah w borscht, their fresh lunch-blintzes, it's blueberry farmers cheese 2-day..."oh grandpa, i need 2 go."
"i cant do this alone boy," he says. "i wish i could stay," i say.
"okay," he says w a heavy sigh, and he lets go. he takes my face into a tight grip w both of his hands, and kisses me 10 times on each cheek, his face wet w tears.
"oh grandpa, i am sorry u feel so alone." he's just weeping. "go now," he sobs, and waves me away.
i am on my way, but in my rear view mirror, i can see u grandpa, holding both of ur hands 2 ur face, i hear loud, deep, painful, grieving-howls. w/ my car windows open, a strong, warm breeze is whipping around, and now u r gone, out of sight. i am on the express way, the swirling wind feels good - ur salty tears drip down my face, onto my hands and into my mouth. making the steering wheel a bit slippery.
i'm thinkin' of u old pal, and the fresh blueberry blintz sounds great! okay, let's go!
"hey sacred chow?"
"yeah?"
"could u make up some fresh blueberry blintzes?"
"u bet!"

3/10/09

the scent of the river

when it gets hoppin' hot at sacred chow, both in the kitchen and during service, my body starts 2 steam, it emanates w intense heat. i become parched, as if i am an ancient hebrew traveling through the sinai 4 40 days and 40 nights in search of the promised land. i see myself as if in a mirage, dragging my body through the hot sands, craving water, croaking like a frog, rather than speaking. w a dry throat and a heavy mexican accent, i stretch the words out and roll my tongue on the r's: "aaaaqua, aaaaqua, poooorrrrr faaaavorrrrr, aaaaqua!" i am crawling, alone, no one hears my plea, " aaaaqua, aaaaqua, pooorrrrr faaaavorrrrr, aaaaqua!" i laugh at the sound of my toad-like voice, but since i love how it sounds, i continue 2 say it loudly so everyone can hear. once there is a lull, i walk over 2 the sink, turn the water on full force and cup my hands under the faucet until it gets freezing cold. i splash my face, and drink in the water as if it is from a river from the far reaches of alaska. a memory always takes hold: i smell the scent of the river, its water, and the water from a fierce rainstorm. i am in 7th grade, a summer nor'easter has struck our small town, and the saddle river has overflowed. my friends and i run to get our inner tubes, as my brother and his friends had b-4 us, we drop the inner-tubes, and ourselves, into the swift moving saddle river. we speed like crazy down the river, twirling and spinning, almost out of control, but not quite. such a beautiful feeling of friendship and laughter. all around is the smell of water, drooping greenery, peace and vibrant fun. i am at the hand sink in the basement kitchen of sacred chow in nyc, but i am also in the sinai desert, in mexico, in alaska and traveling down the saddle river in upper saddle river, n.j..

3/8/09

i can smell the tanenbaum's!

when i was 19 i worked at massachusetts mental health hospital in boston, mass. i had been attending northeastern university, and my under-grad major was psychology. at n.u., the students also participated in a work\study program. my choice was 2 be an attendant at mass mental health. at that time, vegan food was as distant a concept 2 me as was the probability of barack obama becoming president of the u.s., or that there would be equal marriage rights 4 same-sex couples in massachusetts. i walked, each day, from where i lived, near symphony hall in boston, up 2 the hospital. it was close 2 brookline, mass., and also close 2 one of my favorite deli's, tanenbaum's. this deli was also part of a destination walk we infrequently took with the patients on heavily medicated, sunny days. a meal i would buy from tanenbaum's deli, almost everyday, was a head-cheese sandwich which tasted like corned beef jello. i would order a few thick pieces on a kaiser roll with very thinly sliced tomatoes, mustard & a pickle on the side. each day at the hospital, during my lunch break, i would studiously read the files of my patients. i would lock myself away, alone, in the 4'x5' file room with my "corned beef jello" sandwich, my pickle, a dr. brown's cream or cel-ray soda, and salt & vinegar potato chips. first, i'd take a bite of the sandwich, 2nd the pickle and 3rd, i'd stuff a few tangy chips into my mouth, all at the same time. i loved how the gelatinousness of the meat felt along with the dry crunch of the chips and wet crunch of the pickle. this order of consumption was a must: the sandwich, the pickle, the chips, left, right, center, chewy, bouncy-like "corned beef jello" w/ 2 distinct crunches, now 2gether, oh, my, on a perfect kaiser roll. this combination filled me w/ an unbelievable euphoria and delight. each swallow, would then require the clean, smooth swig of dr. brown's. this, all of this 2gether, i felt, was culinary masterpiece, bar none.
many times, during my lunch break, other attendant's would frantically call out: " attendant, attendant!" you'd have 2 drop everything, and rush 2 help. usually, a patient would be going through a catatonic episode and they would have 2 be stabilized. the strength of the oldest &/or smallest woman or man was unimaginable against 5 to 6 attendants. needless 2 say, it was always a very scary experience. one time, right after i had taken my 3 holy bites, savoring the textures and tastes that i had perfectly combined, chewed and swallowed, i was just ready 4 my swirl of dr. brown's, and i heard: "attendant, attendant!" out i ran, w/ the flavors of my masterpiece still delivering their exquisite union 2 my mouth. 4 other attendant's crowded around one of my favorite patients, julia. she was a really large women. she was screaming, get the fuck away from me. spit was hitting all of us in the face, her body & head were contorting up and down, left and right. i was holding her right arm, and my face was pretty close 2 hers. she looked at me and she said: "him, him, keep him away from me, he's the devil, satan, the evil one, pure evil." i felt really hurt, despite her schizophrenia, and that her hands were reaching 2 tear out my eyes, i said, "julia, no julia, it's me, cliff." she started sniffing profusely, making loud dog-like noises w/ her mouth and nose. "julia, it's me!" "oh, shut-up, one of the other attendants screamed, and just hold her down." i did, but i felt so rejected. i thought: why she cant distinguish me from the others? i said 2 myself: "i thought i was different, i thought i knew them, that they knew me, and that i was one of them!" the only difference, i believed, was that i held the keys. quickly a nurse came, gave her a shot of tranquilizers, she slowed her jerks and calmed down. she looked at me and grinned in her slanted smile and said: " i can smell the tanenbaum's!"

3/6/09

...mmmm

...mmmm Sacred Chow
vkrees
says it all!

purim party!

get into your costume and come to sacred chow's purim party!
date:3/10/09
time: 7:00pm
call: 212-337-0863 to reserve

3/5/09

Zagat ratings...Food: 23 (very good to excellent)

Zagat ratings & review for Sacred Chow.
Sacred Chow is inexpensive, kosher, health food, try this Greenwich Village “secret” with its vegan “food from the gods” (there are “gluten-free” options too); adding to the authenticity, the “incredibly edible” offerings are dished out by servers “who look the part.”
Food: 23 (very good to excellent)
Decor: 13 (fair to good)
Service: 21 (very good to excellent)
Cost: $20 (surveyors' estimate of the price of dinner with one drink and tip)

3/3/09

the megillah gorilla.

about sacred chow's purim party:
i was reading about the sheer number of feasts that king ahashuerus and queen esther gave during the course of the story of purim. it is truly astounding! but it is for this very reason that the holiday of purim is very much connected with feasting, food & wine--to pay homage to the feasts of the king and queen. food and wine that speak to a persian influence, in honor of the late, great queen esther, will be the focus of chow's purim menu. let's give a big cheer 4 queen esther! when queen esther was hiding the fact she was a jew, while she was living in the king's court, i was wondering if she kept kosher? i think she may actually have been the first vegan queen. research shows many of the foods of the purim feast were vegetarian, yeah a bit of lamb, chicken or fish were thrown in here and there, but by and large, vegetables and fruits and lots of wine were the rule. her fight was to assure freedom for the jews, so maybe she was also pushing freedom for her fellow animals as well. i never thought about that b-4, but it makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? i think she was also a gay rights activist 2. research can be construed to read that a few of her friends were friends of dorothy's. freedom 4 all!
okay here's chow's purim party menu specials:
pomegranate sangria
spicy eggplant braise w/ fresh greens & persimmons
crispy cinnamon chickpeas & apricot millet pilaf
oyster mushroom-barley stew
slow roasted hamentashen seitan
halva mohn tarts w/ sour cherry glaze
of course we'll have the graggers, see, פורים - come crank the gragger! and reb zev, chelsea's own rabbi, see also, jewish halloween, will be here doing the megillah gorilla.
zev suggested that every one in costume will get a sangria on chow.
get into your costume and come to sacred chow's purim party!
date:3/10/09
time: 7:00pm

cotton candy sangria

everyday we make a special sangria @ sacred chow, we have had cherry sangria, pomegranate sangria, kumquat, persimmon... oh, the list goes on. but 2night it will be cotton candy sangria. i just love cotton candy! i feel like i am back at the upper saddle river county fair, or at the small local circus in north conway, like a little kid. it also feels more like ur eating attic insulation dipped in sugar, rather than cotton, but i really like sugar no matter it's form. the other day, hux and i bought a bag of it, and we were so happy dissolving it down 2gether. i have wanted to use cotton candy for a dessert for a long time now, but it is in the sangria that cotton candy will make its debut. dunk and dissolve!

3/2/09

like a shadow

when i was a kid, my dad used to scream, dont touch that food, it's mine. i would just be ready to take a bite, let's say, of some left-over chinese food from the frig. the frig door would be open, i'd be ready to pick into some chow fun, and he'd sneak up and yell: PUT IT BACK, DONT TOUCH IT, CLOSE IT, NOW. often, at the dinner table, if i would use my finger to grab a piece of broccoli, potato, steak...he would pierce my hand with a steak fork, and slowly say: dont...touch...my...food...with...your...fingers. often i didnt want to eat dinner with my family. it's not that i didnt want to eat, i loved to eat. hungry i was, but dinner time was unimaginably uncomfortable. i just didnt want to be with them. there was usually no conversation between my sisters, brother, mother, father or myself. we'd sit in our designated seats, and sort of grunt our food down. when i would say, i'm not hungry 2night, my mother would yell up to me, if u dont eat now, dont think you're eating later. when every one was a sleep, hunger pains would push me to sneak slowly down the steps in to the kitchen, making sure not to wake our very mean doberman pincher and 2 over-step the creaks made in steps 2 and 4 - slowly, slowly, i would open the frig door, very carefully, 2 make sure the airtight pull from the gasket wouldnt be heard by the dog. i usually succeeded but i always felt like a thief. sometimes, i still find myself sneaking food. when i am working, or at home, i find myself hiding my food, quickly putting it into my mouth. i move swiftly through sacred chow's kitchen w/ a bottle of beer stealthily held close to my thigh so co-workers won't spy my intent, a bowl of western tofu and collard greens quickly consumed out of eyesight. at home, i will eat behind a newspaper, if asked a question, the paper can easily cover my foil.
yesterday, my son and i were at a family gathering. we had a great weekend 2gether. we do this event called the march birthdays. there r a lot of family b-days in march, a niece, 2 nephews, my sister's boyfriend, huxley's, huxley's mom and mine. i was sure i had to work and go to sacred chow, but i found a way 4 us to make our way to n.j., and we were excited to go. huxley wanted to get flowers for my oldest sister, it was her house the event was going to be at. the train ride was nice, easy going. he played with his ds, and i read, we cuddled and looked out the window. waldwick, waldwick next stop, the conductor shouted. i put his coat on him and next his backpack, put my coat on and hooked up my shoulder bag, off we went. dad, the flowers, he shouted. shit, we left the flowers on the shelf above our seats on the train. this put hux in a very bad mood. we got off in this gray, cold, depressing town where most of the stores had for rent signs on them. i said, we'll find a flower store. to our amazement there was one a few blocks away. but as we got closer, it too had a for rent sign posted. a few moments later, molly, one of my nieces picked us up w/ nick, a nephew. about an hour later, while i was laying down on my sister's bed and talking on the phone to sacred chow, i saw huxley quickly run by the room. really it was like a flash, like a cat around a corner, a ghost. then i heard my name being called angrily by my mom, and she came marching into the room saying, on the phone, on the phone again, do something, huxley just pushed luke down. (luke is a 2 year old nephew, and loves to hang close to hux. but hux doesnt feel the same.) is he hurt? no, but he could have been. do something! discipline him now! get up now! huxley was hiding in the closet and crying. i took hux outside and spoke to him about being bigger and that a 2 year old kid cant understand that he is in the way. he still cried a lot, and kept explaining himself over and over 2 everyone. it was wrong, and i was angry & disappointed w/ him, but kids...oh, jeez, we all make mistakes. seeing hux move swiftly by, like a shadow, brought out memories of my own demon's dance, and the sickening realization about how this has cursed me 2 eat hiding.