Standing outside of a locked door looking in. Today my son Huxley is playing his 4th chess tournament. For Huxley, although he has great determination and desire to win, it is more about truth & honor, & how much he will learn from the experience.
The boy he is playing loudly boasted before the challenge began, "
I have played in 40 tournaments, and my rating is..." Huxley proudly stated: " well, I have played in four!" And without any signs of trepidation, he began his match.
I asked him this morning if he was at all nervous, as he was challenging other players that were ranked much higher than he was. "Nope" he said. "I am not nervous at all. Of course I hope to win so that my rating improves, but no matter, I will learn much more, & I will play with honor & integrity." The other player's boasting did not undermine his confidence, to the contrary, he was watching out for intimidating tricks, and raised his hand for a Chess masters assisstance at any of his opponents devious false traps.
It immediately reminded me of when I had taken the Pennsyvania Bar Exam, and during a lunch break from the exam, 4 other exam takers were boasting how the answers that they had chosen were the correct ones, while the ones I had chosen were clearly wrong. The 4 against one factor had clearly played into my sense of confidence, and so, I assumed they were right, and perhaps I had failed the exam. Months later when the results were out, the boasters had all failed, and I had passed.
I learned thereafter how important it is, for self-preservation, to trust my sense of truth, and to walk away from those working to boast their fears by trying to undermine others.
What I teach Huxley, when the torpedoes of life are postioned to annihilate by intimidation, is that he has the power to shift away from & transcend such attacks through honoring his integrity & keen intelligence. And that above all else: do not listen, just focus on the task before you.
I don't know if Huxley has won his match yet, as I am still watching the set take place. But no matter the final result, his honor, integrity & intelligence are well intact. And I am so proud of him!
