blueberry blintzes

i wish i had eaten the blueberry blintzes w u that day gramps.

it was just a few weeks after grandma lilly died.

I asked u: "how r u feeling 2day? u said:"i am feeling so terribly lonely. no one in the family is speaking 2 me now."

i told u: "no, they dont blame u, but they need their distance for awhile."

(but they did blame him, they would never forgive him and never wanted 2 talk 2 him again. and it was understandable. but i loved him.)

we were walking around a little orthodox jewish shopping area, near where u lived in the bronx.

i said: "yes, i knew that she was very unhappy,

and that u 2 fought a lot. I know how much u miss being w her.

i missed being w her 2. she was my best friend."

"yes gramps, i know u loved her. i know u did."

it's time 2 go, so we walked 2 my car.

i got into the car and opened the windows, and now i am getting ready to leave, and i see u grandpa, standing so alone, on boston post road. i said, "hey gramps, i love u." u leaned inside the car, crying, and pleading: "dont leave me boy, i will miss u, and have no one 2 talk 2 now." i am holding your hand, your tears r falling onto our grasp.

"but i have 2 get back 2 skool, please understand."

"i will miss u boy." "i will miss u 2 grandpa."

"please stay, just an extra half hour, we can go 2 the dairy restaurant 2gether,

and i can tell everyone how proud i am of u. we can eat the kreplach w sweet onions, a big piece of challah w borscht, their fresh lunch-blintzes, it's blueberry farmers cheese 2-day..."oh grandpa, i need 2 go."

"i cant do this alone boy," he says. "i wish i could stay," i say.

"okay," he says w a heavy sigh, and he lets go. he takes my face into a tight grip w both of his hands, and kisses me 10 times on each cheek, his face wet w tears.

"oh grandpa, i am sorry u feel so alone." he's just weeping. "go now," he sobs, and waves me away.

i am on my way, but in my rear view mirror, i can see u grandpa, holding both of ur hands 2 ur face, i hear loud, deep, painful, grieving-howls. w/ my car windows open, a strong, warm breeze is whipping around, and now u r gone, out of sight. i am on the express way, the swirling wind feels good - ur salty tears drip down my face, onto my hands and into my mouth. making the steering wheel a bit slippery.

i'm thinkin' of u old pal, and the fresh blueberry blintz sounds great! okay, let's go!

"hey sacred chow?"

"yeah?"

"could u make up some fresh blueberry blintzes?"

"u bet!"